Artchic,

You are very capable of learning and developing skills. You found this site and learned how to use it, so now you sign in and interact on this site without giving it a lot of thought. That is how we all learn, by DOING.

As far as your father is concerned, at one point he did hit you, so with that you know he is capable of that and when he does get angry you have "learned" to react to it and "feel" threatened. In turn, your father's way of interacting is also LEARNED behaviors and he tends to get angry when he is tired, stressed and the world doesn't spin HIS WAY. Also, without your realizing it, you have learned to exist in the dysfunction that is present in your home life too. You also learned how to be "dependent" and you have never actually learned how to be independent so you "fear" it.

Even wild animals who are designed to reach a point where they fend for themselves in the wild can be compromised if they are rescued and learn to be dependent on humans and to trust humans. As a result people who do wild animal rescues have to be very careful and "not" encourage these rescue animals to become pets and dependent and they make it a point to rehabilitate or raise these rescue animals in a way where these animals can get as closely as possible the kind of environment where they grow to become able to thrive in the wild.

You "can" learn to drive and you "can" learn to have a job and manage money just as you have learned to use this site. You "can" learn to deal better with your father and change things around that you know can upset him and also change your routine where you can be exposed to his moods when he comes home from work and vents his frustrations where you have been on the receiving end. A person can unknowingly get used to "waiting" for someone else to fix things "for them". The only way to slowly get away from that is to take steps, reasonable steps, towards doing for self instead of waiting for someone to come along and do "for" you. You say your short term memory is challenged, yet, just by hopping on the net and utilizing the net you have proven you can access your short term working mind and gradually develop skills.

When I taught young children how to ride one of the things I wanted them all to learn is to realize how they DO LEARN. I tell them all that whatever they are unsure of when they start, they will get to a point where they actually get it and it will feel "normal" to do what they struggle to do at first. And guess what, they all get to experience that and this is what encourages ALL of them to keep learning even more and feeling more comfortable that they actually can do just that.

You tend to make decisions about yourself that "limit" you. You are far from stupid, you can learn and develop good life skills.