Does anyone here get memmory flashes of the stupid @#$% they have done and are ashamed of. Then you just keep running it through your head over and over agin like a movie, which in turn puts you into crisis and causes you to do more stupid *#$%?

This is my biggest struggle. I have not SI since 2002, but when I do have the thoughts every so often, this is what causes it. Will I be with this for the rest of my life.