When people why I have a dog and two cats, all of who are special needs, I tell them that it gives my life schedule and order. It used to be that was the most important thing they did, now I find they are what keeps me from doing anything to harm myself. I think if I wasn’t here tomorrow and I stop thinking who would take care of them and all their specific likes and dislikes. They are very special and require special attention to make sure they remain healthy.

I am in a sick mixed episode because I am missing half my meds due to insure reasons. Surprisingly the CBD I am trying as a last stitch effort is helping with the voices. Even so, I am very depressed but restless enough that I need to do something right now to fix it. I just couldn’t leave my boys though, no one knows them like I do and knows what they like and need.