yes... i have that happen often...i know how hard it is to stay safe during those flashes... that trigger thoughts...that trigger the flashes... and then the urges mount... i am sorry your having that happen...i know how hard it is...when i start rembering the choices i have made...that make me feel shame... i try and remind myself that the things we do and the choices we make shape the person we are... and we can grow and learn even from the poor choices... now some of mine are choices of others that make me feel shame and responsibility...be careful not to take on anothers responsibility... i am typing this after taking some sleep meds...so please forgive me if i am rambling...lyn