Aren't you a nice daughter-in-law . . . to be so caring of your husband's mom. There's no guarantee that antidepressant medication will change how your M.I.L. feels, even one little bit. I've taken most of them. It's more likely, IMHO, that she will be adversely affected by side effects. Her sons are wrong to bully her about this. I'm a caretaker of an 82 year old. The very elderly do need a good push now and then, and I give it. But A.D. meds wouldn't be the hill I'ld choose to die on. I save being that adamant for things like laxatives and taking regular showers - things I know will make a big difference right away that is readily observable. Some talk therapy with a nice female therapist might do mom more good, or just having coffee alone with you and talking without the sons breathing down her neck. They are lucky she is still able to be alone in her house. Nice for her that you guys are close by.

Get her some social interaction as best you can. Hanging around her house all day by herself would be depressing. Meds won't change that. Sons would do better to drop by for short visits frequently. Have her over now and then. Her home will seem more welcoming, if she gets out of it now and then. Does she have a cat or dog? Enlist grandkids to stop by and see her. I always say short frequent visits do way more good than rarer long ones. Take her for a drive.

When she goes off into morbid talk, change the subject. Maybe her doctor could order her a course of home physical therapy, as a mood booster. Check out what goes on at the senior centers.

I'm lucky that my elderly s.o. is not prone to moping. As long as there's a football game or a good movie on, he's content enough. But I have to nag to get him showered regularly. A week doesn't go by that I don't start threatening to call the paramedics and say I can't cope anymore. I look back and think I'm just awful, so I understand the sons.

Get the family counseling. It might be just a short course that could change a lot. I'm glad you and hubby can make up so easily. You're wise to be the big person and take the lead on apologizing. Your husband and his family are lucky to have you.