so I got this email from my cousin today and omg, I'm like a deer in the headlights as to his response. so i'll put it out there and see if someone can see something I am not. thanks

first off, don't have a perfect family, never have and never will. that includes all my relatives. most treat me differently because of my MI (that or something else I'm not aware of). and at times, my MI consumes me and I miss things that others might find obvious.

second- my cousin and I kinda bonded a couple years ago over the way our family treats us, basically like outsiders. but people in my life tend to communicate in 'waves', as in like a few messages here, then none for a long time, then a few, then none, and back & forth. and for me, my theory is if the other person won't put in the effort to maintain the friendship (as in, not always me being the one to initiate contact or always asking for info [like pulling teeth]), then why should I?! so I don't put much thought into it if someone goes weeks or months without saying anything to me, especially if there is a distance involved. I just let them have their space, so to speak.

and third, I only have two friends left and both live hours from me. and even they talk to me in 'waves'. everyone else eventually stopped talking to me along the way.

okay, he's what he sent me. back story: my parents had their fortieth anniv this weekend and I sent out a MASS email to relatives on Thursday suggesting that people message my parents, IF they wanted to. [and I did this even though when I had my thirtieth birthday, my family didn't do a dam thing for me]


"""Since it was you who informed me of your mother excluding me from the family get together, after I told you I have cancer and sent an article explaining how my immediate family treats me as the scapegoats and identified patient, I don't want to speak with you ever again. Your personal character lacks emotional intelligence and the courage to do what is righteous.
The dysfunction of our family, which you participate in, is something I can no longer submit myself to. The passive aggressive behavior, gas lighting, and assigned roles are evidence of the mentally unhealthy behavior that will never change.
The claims of being devoted Christians, while judging others and expecting to be forgiven, is a hypocrisy which narcissistic personalities are unable to correct.
I expect you'll tell yourself that I'm somehow mistaken, you or your family are the true victims in this situation, or that I have ulterior motives. You may even roll your eyes or have a deep condescending laugh. Again, I can no longer submit myself to a group of people who use blaming, shaming, projection to alleviate personal insecurities, denial, and bullying tactics as a way to have other individuals submit to their will.
I wish to spend the precious time I have left on this earth with those who I deem worthy.
Don't respond to this message. Do not email me again. Don't lie to yourself in an attempt to lie to me."""

p.s. after he told me he had cancer, I sent him an email back asking what was going on. he NEVER told me! and the family get together was back in july, which is when we last emailed. have NOT heard a dam thing from him since. so wtf...