Captgut, sadly your family blaming you is often cited as among the most most traumatising aspect for survivors.

I'm sorry that not only you were abused, that you were blamed and left alone with it.

I'm also sorry you still have to see him. My sibling touched me once forcibly and I still have to see him too....my experience was only once and mild but I get so triggered when I have to converse with him.

I hear you... I can imagine how horrible it is that you still have to see your family member... on top of you being blamed. I hope T helps you feel safe enough eventually to think the words, visualise the words and then to write the words for T.

Your truth is screaming to be heard, of course you're miserable and depressed, dear captgut. You're having normal reactions to s terribly abnormal family environment.