I'm not sure if the connection between this post and ed is but, in my opinion...it has EVERYTHING to do with perception and reality so...here goes:

I've finally come to the conclusion that we live every moment of our lives veiled entirely by dependency upon the unknown. Everything we long to see, everything we ceaselessly grasp for is shadowed by the gray, the intangible.
When somebody dies, it is said that they simply disappear. Can a soul that has existed, coexisted, and grown in both experience and complexity really just vanish in a single heartbeat (or lack thereof...)?? I think that souls who are truly cherished will never die in that respect. People always say "they are kept alive in our hearts" but in actuality don't believe a word they speak. I think they are kept alive not in our hearts...soulless muscles and the time bombs of our lives...but rather by our beliefs. One whose body has gone cold will still walk among us as an entity only of a different form. I believe that only when all components of a passed individuals waking life have accomplished the art of forgetting will that individual be truly dead--vanished eternally..........the area is gray and yet we grasp at it always. Paranormal states and ghost hunters, funeral processions and grave tributes...we can never know the reality of our wonders, and thus we play the great game of guesswork, and convince ourselves that we believe in the foundations of our own guesses.
When an aspect of our lives goes terribly wrong, or when our lives themselves seem to be uprooted in entirety, the mantra arises "it will all be okay." But where are the brave souls to ponder and ask...why? How is it proven that time will make this "okay"? And who is to define just what is meant by "okay"? It's simply a gray area. Perhaps we are okay because our minds have erased the pain, time has "healed the wounds" but in reality those wounds were never healed...they were merely shrouded by our refusal to see the truth before our faces. If time really erased all of our pain unfalteringly, then mental illness and the rebirth of subconscious memories and desires would never bound into existence. Time buries our wounds under light soil...and then again uproots them in the torrents of our storms. Then the storms themselves are buried, and the cycle forever deepens.
One of my least favorite sayings, but one of high prestige with respect to the world as a whole, is "everything happens for a reason." Does everything really happen for a reason, or is reason simply applied to the random happenings of life as part of the desperate attempt to define this thing called living without regard to the amplitude of truth or of fallacy? Modern culture mocks like organizations of the past for their superstitions, and yet we live upon the antithesis of superstition, we live for empty hopes. Empty as a result of the ill footed foundations upon which they were contrived. Mathematics are said to be an exact science, what is proven a number of times is said to be pure fact. But did the universe build mathematics, or has math been molded by man to fit the intricacies of the universe? Nothing is ever certain, because certainty in itself is dissembled by internal fallacies.
So what do we call those who refuse to live in the gray, whose actions are dictated either by black or white but never by what lies in between? These, the souls caught amidst the torturous reality of a world in denial, are what we call the insane. And what am I?

These I need to know:
**Why do so few think or speak of the backwards workings of our world?
**Do those minds dubbed insane truly contain a wisdom beyond human recognition whose lack of expression results from a similar lack of medium with which to be heard and understood?
**Does life at present really have a purpose, if the future relentelessly erases, numbs, and invalidates the past?
**Realistically, is it suicide to end the nameless, faceless struggle between that which we think we know and that which we long to know...or is it suicide to drag our feet through a world built on wishes and candy dreams?