yesterday I watched the wizard of oz.

such a timeless movie... I love it

food was **** though, did not enjoy my dinner at all.

I also got really triggered last night by a post on here, and I had the thoughts all night.. it was horrible- it's bad enough having sleeping problems without thinking about suicide.

mother was on the phone to me at half 8 this morning hurling her usual abuse at me, and that made me feel even lower

I have very bad thoughts today, very very bad- but I know their are things I need to get done

-order an emergency grocery order to arive tomorrow (because of the simple fact when I ordered wednesday, it was all junk food) andi 'd neglected to order some much needed essentials

transfer some money for my hair appointment on thursday

and order my takeaway

get something yummy inside me- rather than my **** cooking