And okay, I really aren't out to cause you to feel worse about yourself.

Being traumatised doesn't mean you're anything negative (again, the abuse makes us feel bad, dirty, broken, wrong...and being blamed and not supported makes that sink in deeper)... it means you're hurt... and it shouldn't have happened and you should have been supported, protected, cared for. Your family member deserves all the blame, and your other family members who blamed you.

If you blame yourself (like I blame myself sometimes), I hope you can remember that you wouldn't blame me for what happened to me, I'm sure. And likewise I truly, with all my heart, can tell you: none of the blame is yours.