I had a lot of thoughts last night, thoughts that have popped up time and time again, and they essentially amalgamate into:

"You don't really suffer from gender dysphoria, you've just learned how dysphoric people act and you're copying them, because any solid identity is better than having zero clue who you really are."

Which... doesn't make sense to me, because my dysphoria kicked in before the Internet taught me about the concept of gender identity. And additionally, if a solid identity was all I craved, why wouldn't I just be okay living as a man? I mean, right? And I'm not worried about coming off as some kind of "transtrender" either, because I generally avoid communities centered around anything-- my trials/tribulations regarding my gender have always revolved around my personal happiness, so... And then my reaction to all this ranges from "Ehh" to "I don't wanna' do this anymore I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna' do this anymore".

The fact that I'm even a little worried that my own perception of my gender identity is invalid, this sensation that I can't even trust my own discomfort and emotions is... mildly horrifying, to say the least.