Appreciate it. Hopefully we can really dig deep into why I am at a standstill with my feelings so that I can understand and process and move on. We really didn't get to do much of that because I spent almost all of the first session telling my very long story about this relationship.

Last session, I felt like she was more angry at my ex then I was. I try to find anger in me towards him, so that I can get really mad and want nothing to do with him. But I can't yet. I feel really sad and hurt and confused. The anger I do feel is towards myself for being so unbelievably pathetic that I begged and pleaded for another chance with someone who doesn't care about me. I feel like a pathetic loser.

And I feel angry that I still want to contact him! I am like some kind of stalker! He completely cuts off contact, and that is somehow not enough for me to get a clue that maybe he wants me to leave him alone? I just want him to tell me in words that he is done with me, but why do I need that? I hate myself for that. I hate that the three times he has came around and then left, I am that same loser trying to beg him to love me. I have no self-respect, no dignity. So I guess I am angry, but mostly at myself for being some foolish girl hanging on to nothing, begging for crumbs.