Well yeah I suppose that's true. And is along the same lines as the reason I was finally able to let go of the anger at my mother that I'd been holding onto for years n years n years - because it finally penetrated my pea brain that me being angry at her was only hurting me (and occasionally t), and not affecting my mother at all.

Hmm. I just understood something else. Why my attachment to t got all insecure again briefly... because that being angry at my mother was a kind of link from little Artie to her, a depressing one but a link nonetheless, and letting go of the anger kinda left little me floating and unconnected for a bit. Or something.