I’m sorry to hear about your childhood. My daughter has a friend that has no clue who her father might be. I cannot imagine that. Her mother feels that is her own personal business. I’m sure she feels that she has a very good reason for keeping these things secret.

Regarding your identity and money, I would keep a close eye on your bank account and credit record to ensure that you are not negatively affected by your mother’s mistakes.

About your relationship with your mother, that’s complicated. The only thing you can do is accept her as she is, being aware that she’s not going to change. Look at things realistically and go from there. I hope that you’re relationship reaches some sort of a middle ground in which you and she are able to interact without hurting one another. Good Luck!