Quote:
Originally Posted by Bjørnen
It's frustrating, to say the least. I don't know why it happens, but I've wondered myself if I've been invited to do things with groups just out of social etiquette.
There have been times when I have enough energy to play the part of someone I'm not in group situations. In those times, I'm talkative, funny, and I go out of my way to ask others about themselves. This is the fastest way to make people engage with you.
BUT. I don't have the energy for that usually. I don't like feeling fake like that. It's disheartening that my true self seems to be ignored in group settings. I've seen this happen with quite a few reserved people, so you definitely aren't alone in this feeling.
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Exactly. I know I have been invited to do things with groups out of social etiquette or pity. Even at work it happens. I get an email about an after work outing, meanwhile none of my coworkers truly like me or want me around that much. They are cliquey, so I know for a fact those emails are just out of obligation and politeness. Same for some friends and acquaintances in the past. I would find out that I was only invited out of obligation or pity. Yeah unfortunately it seems to happen a lot to reserved people. Don't know why.
Not sure if I accidentally give off a sad vibe, have sad resting face syndrome, or something else. Whatever it is, it causes people to invite me when they really don't want me there and shun me if I accept. I almost always decline now unless I am a hundred percent sure I am wanted. I've completely stopped going to outings after work since I wasn't really wanted despite being invited. I feel like in a way it is rude since it is giving the person they are inviting a false sense that they are actually welcomed and wanted when in fact, they aren't wanted there and some people may even resent the person being there.