Earlier today I was feeling sad - it's a sadness I've 'always' had.. Thought I'd go for a walk to make myself feel better, but then I suddenly thought that I can do whatever I like for the rest of my life to 'feel better' but it won't do anything about this sadness. I have to deal with it in order to move on.

So I started listening to what it is about.. I'm sad I did not have the kind of father I hoped for. It's not like I was asking for the impossible - I did NOT need for him to be 'perfect', just good enough.. That would have been plenty. But for some reason it didn't happen that way.. Maybe one day I'll know why. Now I just need to share that I'm sad. Then I'll move on..