Went to group. Told them what's going on. They think mixed state but I think depression. I left out the SI bits so I don't get hospitalized. That ****ing doctor there is gonna dope me up and prescribe me an antidepressant that has ****ed with my heart previously. I don't believe he is doing things in my best interest. I don't know why, but he wants to keep me ill and dependent upon these substances. And stupid. I'm a genius. I really am. But for some reason or another this is bad for him or anyone on his side. And he's going to dope me up and sedate me so I don't have any intelligence. He is not on my side. He is the enemy, and I don't know why, but that's the way it is.