I've recovered from OCD too with therapist medicine and mental camp. It's quite weird though because I struggle with low self esteem and attention seeking behavior. Now first off do not feel bad for having OCD. You didn't choose to have OCD. OCD is a mental disorder so therefore it's a problem. No one is laughing at you and now one is ashamed because it's a serious problem. Now what your writing sounds like OCD. Your not bad because of those behaviors. It is very very hard to resist compulsions. OCD is built around the fact that it is very very hard to fight these ideas. It's obsessive that's why. It's not your idea or want for OCD. You didn't choose to do these behaviors therefore you shouldn't feel shame. Now your thinking in a distorted thinking style. You think that because you do these THEREFORE you MUST be shamed. I put those in capitals because those are the key words. Don't feel shame and don't feel depressed for it.