Before xmas when I was triggered by being in a strange place and the upcoming T break, I began to feel that my husband of 22yrs previous good strong charactor toward me had turned into someone one awful and untrustworth and unsupportive...this went of for about 3weeks and then during T one session I asked T if it was real or whether it was in my head? T said that though the feelings were real, she didn't feel that my husband had changed to that degree in such a short time and the events around my thinking this were the triggers and maybe he had been slightly less then normal during these events that had become the hook for the feelings..well I've fallen out with a very good online friend and I feel like I am dying ...I keep telling myself that the strong feelings I am experiencing are real but maybe they are from a time long ago and the friend thing at the moment is triggering them...when I say this to myself I become more aware of the deep pain being triggered inside me and less on the situation which tells me these feelings are old ones...I think this as painful as it is right now is a step forward because I am able to say now "this isn't real" and then I get slapped by reality, by the HERE-AND-NOW which puts everytihng into perspective, but I can't hold it and I find myself catapulted back into the pain and fear...but what confuses me is how does one know how much pain is to do with the situation right now and how much of it is more about feelings that haven't been dealt with from a time long ago??? I guess this is bit like saying what is the real relationship with T? But I do now believe that perhaps some of my reactions in the TODAY are not just about TODAY but are a connection to the past...