Therapy makes me feel ashamed.

She pretty much convinced me to give up some things. Looking at the facts--I can't read, I can't speak to male professors, I can't do music--I'm probably going to fail anyway.

I should just give up now. I'm useless. Everything is overwhelming.

I felt like I was feeling bad so I told her everything was fine.... She's very smart and knows how to hurt me.

I wasn't sure if "ashamed" of all my emotions was the right title for this thread, but it's right, after all... I'm too ashamed of myself to do anything, even communicate about myself fully.

My pesky stutter came back when I was talking to her. It's not a real stutter--I didn't have it as a child. It started in my teens as a result of a lack of talking at home and at school. I just stopped talking and forgot how, I guess. And as I was describing something, the stutter mixed up all my words and my syntax sounded exactly like my mother was talking. It was really bad. So I stopped talking and I told her I sounded like my mother so I was going to stop.

She gave me a pitying look, like she had just stumbled upon a huge trauma that she needs to be delicate with me about.

And she started speaking very softly.

...........if I'm honest about everything, she will just pity me. I'm pathetic.