My mind has been switching and changing from wanting to improve my life to contemplating suicide . I know it says no suicide posts but are we allowed to mention the word suicide ?

Anyway it keeps switching from one to the other and so does my mood . one minute im fine and thinking positive then im in this dark lonely place again .
Ive recently started a new medication . i hope it works this time .
Also i need friends . if anyone else needs a friend please talk to me because i really need one