Where I live, it is hard to talk to counselors that are in reach, simply because they only come in once a month. I would have to talk to my doctor to get me sent out, which was supposed to happen on the 18th, but my mother cancelled on me with the famous "You'll be okay" line.
I tried talking to a.. non professional yet wise in life counselor(somebody who in my community) and discovered that I need professional help rather than life advice. I was thinking of walking over to the clinic to ask for help myself, but I'm afraid my mother will get angry at me when she discovers what I did and cancel again. Calling a crisis hotline is hard for me since my anxiety is acting up on me again, it keeps me holed up in my room and quiet.
I tried talking to my friends(peers) and all I get is "I relate" or "I'm busy" kinda stuff. I'm kind of in a position where I can't do nothing but go with the flow and hope for the best.

Thank you for the suggestions, I might try and ask for help myself at the clinic.