Hi,

I need some help to try and unravel things that happened in my childhood.

As a young teen, my parents separated and my mother moved in an alcoholic who beat us, emotionally abused us and smashed the house up regularly. I developed anorexia and used to self harm. My mother has a narcissistic personality disorder, so I suffered abuse from her throughout my entire life.

When she split from her boyfriend, she moved another partner in pretty much immediately. I was 17 at the time. This man spent time with me, gradually taking me away from the house and other people under the pretense of helping to me recover from my anorexia etc etc. I find this very difficult to talk about, so I won't go into detail, but the relationship became sexual and he would take pictures of me, tell me I was special, get me presents, tell me not to tell anyone etc.

I guess my confusion comes from the age that I was at the time. Although it started when I was 17, it continued until I was 18 and moved out, so does that mean it was my fault because of the age I was? I was obviously in a very vulnerable position at the time, and looking at things as an adult, I feel like he took advantage of my vulnerability and used the fact that I was being neglected as a way into my life. I sometimes see him around now, and it's not like seeing an ex, he makes my skin crawl and makes me feel sick.

Thanks in advance.