I've finally understood - really taken in the fact that - it wasn't (and isn't) my fault my dad doesn't love me. He's unable to love anyone.. I was never 'rotten to the core' like I've felt - there was nothing wrong with me!!! Not in this sense..
Realizing this makes me feel like I can
live..

For as long as I thought there was something inherently bad in me, I just wanted to hide away because I feared I'd hurt others just by existing, and thought something as awful and disgusting as me didn't even deserve to live.. But that was never true.
Now I trust that I have a lot - or at least
something - to give to this world - and I
WANT to give it to the world!!!

I don't need to hide away anymore..