Hi,

I love to read, have my favorite authors, etc....I can relate to how you're torn about what to do!

I also have had severe paranoia before and it was terrifying! I was psychotic. It was from an extreme bipolar mixed episode. Normally, I'm not particularly paranoid.

I guess I'm wondering if you're subject to paranoia from a mental illness and this plot change has triggered paranoia? Or is this your first time experiencing this? You sound lucid, to me...that's good. A lot of times we lose insight when paranoid (or that has been my experience).

It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety, too! That's understandable.

Can you tell us a bit more about you? As to paranoia tendencies or diagnoses....only if you want to share. We're all anonymous here and you might get more support, IMO.

I'd set the series "aside" for a bit. Take a break and involve yourself in a different form of entertainment that's not manga. Just for a bit. See a movie. Get outside and exercise. Reconnect with a friend. I think you might be able to think more objectively then.

Overall, I think weighing your enjoyment of this manga series versus the sudden paranoia and delusional thinking is important. Is it worth it? I stay away from a lot of violent movies due to PTSD, for example.

Are you feeling paranoid over anything else?

I think seeing a doctor may be prudent, too. A psychiatrist, perhaps, if you don't see one already.

I do NOT think your fears will come true....it's delusional paranoia thinking, IMO. However, I'm not a medical professional but I feel comfortable saying what's happening to the character will not happen to you.