Thank you both for your kind words and support.

Well, so far none of my friends have left me. No, none of them want to be in this situation - one that could have so easily been avoided. But he created this, and we find ourselves in it regardless.

A couple of them have severed contact with him - one has written him a letter, the other is just distancing herself for now. The third is still in contact - she's the one he called that night. Last night I saw her and could no longer hold it back - I told her how I was feeling. It was really difficult, but I told her that being around her is triggering me. I have so much I'm dealing with right now, I just need distance from anything that will make me feel bad.

She understands, and she wants to be there for me - she said I'm her best friend - but she doesn't want to cause me more pain. It's just a difficult situation, but I really just don't know what else to do. I feel awkward around her, and I feel like there is just too much in the air, too much that can't be acknowledged, and it creates distance for me.

I don't know what to do. I see my T tonight - I'm hoping she has some suggestions. I don't want things to be like this, but I don't see an alternative. I don't want this, but I don't want the wounds to be reopened all the time either. Having him only one person away from me is way too close at a time when I need as much distance as possible. It may not always be like this, but it is right now. I have to build myself back up.

I love her deeply, but I don't know what else to do.

Anyway, thanks again.