Bipolar at 5? I'm glad your mom ran like a bat out of hell! I'm very sorry for what you and your husband are dealing with. If the goal in these flirtations is attention, I think it wise to get to the bottom of why you need this attention. I don't know if the root cause is hyper sexuality when it's about receiving attention. I'm not a doctor though, so I could be wrong. I too am married to a wonderful man and have had a couple flirtations with people on line. I would always cry and confess to my husband either the next day or a few days later.....I didn't understand why I did it but attention and low self worth seemed most likely. I was very sick and dependent and felt that lowered my worth to nothing.....I wanted to feel "not sick and pathetic". Several of the women in my life over the years had cheated on their husband (women not diagnosed with bipolar) and I judged them pretty harshly because of what cheating did to me in my childhood. Then I got sick and did the same. I told my doctor about the flirtations and he said "that's no big deal". My marriage and integrity ARE a big deal so it was very dismissive. I have discovered my reasons which has helped a great deal. Someone told me recently that when people cheat, it's not about them looking for someone better, it's usually because they don't feel they deserve the person they have got. Might that be going on for you? You speak so highly of your husband he almost seems like a god more than a human. Do you feel unworthy of him? If so, perhaps you can tell him this. My husband forgave me and I hope yours forgives you. I forgive myself also but do my best to not engage with weirdos trying to pick me up. Fortunately I'm older now and shouldn't have much of a problem with this. I've forgiven some very weird things my husband has done......relationships are give and take. I've yet to find a marriage without some weirdness beneath the surface when I'm nosey enough to check under the hood. Like I said.....I've known MANY women who have done this......good women. Please don't beat yourself up but please do try to find out "why" so you have a chance to fix it. I wish you so much luck.......your husband sounds very special and so do you. You sound like you appreciate and love him very much......I hope he comes to see that a few flirtations over the internet are not worth throwing away so many years of love. Please keep us posted and let us support you through this. (((Hugs)))