I agree that it's important to show your commitment to your marriage by immediately addressing your illness. Go to a pdoc if you don't already have one. Adjust your meds or get on meds if you are not taking any. There may be other underlying issues that are leading you to engage in risky behaviors, but the important thing is get a handle in the illness as soon as possible.

If you can't stop yourself from contacting this man you can at least make it more difficult for yourself. Delete all sent emails, delete his email address from your contacts. If you have his address written down, get rid of it. Delete the app or game or whatever venue you were on when you met him. Change your email settings so that if he tries to contact you his mail is automatically gets deleted.

I hope that your husband can forgive you. It does sound like you two love each other. I wish you all the best.