@Jennifer -- thank you. **hugs** That's a great suggestion! Just get out of the house!!!! THIS is what is driving me crazy the most. Is being couped up all alone most days and nights. And you're right -- if I'm home the whole time, I will most certainly ruminate on how awful I think things are, and I will make them worse than they are.

@Wolfgaze -- thank you as well. **hugs** You are oh so wise! Your comments show a lot of wisdom. I don't know why this year in particular I am attaching so much meaning and importance to my bday.

You make a good point.... I think it's the overall loneliness factor that I face, and normally each year, I have had friends around for my actual birthday day celebration. Right now, in particular, I am feeling rather lonely and alone. I think this is why I want to be out... to not have to face that loneliness -- yet again -- and on a Saturday night no less. But I will consider what you've written -- good food for thought!

@Bill -- that's a great idea too, thank you and **Hugs***. I could definitely do that... then again, 47 is not all that special to me, so I think, why bother creating a gathering? LOL. Now, for my 50th, that's different. I will definitely gather a special group together for that one....

So I suppose I will try and treat myself to something special during the day -- maybe a spa-like afternoon and maybe get my hair done, too.... then at night.... well, I could go somewhere where I know I will at least know people. That's a thought. Or order takeout Chinese... but I do that all the time. I would have to think of something I don't normally order.

OOH! A girlfriend just told me as I'm writing this that she MAY be available Sat eve to hang out! SO, I could have something to do after all.... I really hope she is available. I would love to hang out with this particular woman.. she's wonderful, and also deals with depression sometimes.