As Jennifer suggested, perhaps it's time - if you haven't already - to be evaluated possibly for depression by a psych doctor and to talk to a therapist. I am not a professional and cannot diagnose, but it seems like depression to me.

I am sorry you are going through this, but these things can really help. You may need to be put on medication (if you are not already?), which will help you to focus better and to be more productive and energized. It won't resolve the depressed feelings and sad/horrible memories -- therapy can help to address those. ((((Hugs))))