Thanks for the response and for the kind feedback...

Often times 'life' (or the Universe) will place you in a situation or facing a set of circumstances that serves to really push your internal buttons! And sure it's always uncomfortable navigating your way through and coping with the challenging emotions that surface. However, those types of experiences contribute to changing and refining you - enabling you to evolve your state of consciousness. So perhaps the particular feelings that are coming up, are surfacing for a good reason (for a higher purpose), And perhaps the timing of this is no coincidence and that this is happening now for an important reason (higher purpose) which will eventually become clear to you when you later reflect back upon how you have grown/changed...

One quick thought that came to mind when I clicked on your thread a second time - was that I was wondering if you had any younger relatives living in your area? Like maybe a niece or nephew, or a younger cousin? If you don't have any other plans set up for your birthday - you could plan to do something rewarding and enjoyable with someone else who you imagine would greatly appreciate it. Perhaps a nice dinner and a movie, or some other type of event/experience. It would likely make you feel good to be involved in something which served to bring positive energy and enjoyment to someone else. Plus you can still plan to do something with your friends at a later date!