salukigirl-- </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Some kids take being abused and then abuse their children. Some kids take it and say "i will never treat my kids like that". I think more often than not its following in their parents footsteps and it takes a special person to realize "i dont want to be like this" and do the opposite.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yes, I agree with you. I think it's so good that you see the best direction-- so many don't/won't see that. I only hope my sons are like you. (and thanks for the PM-- you're so insightful and kind)

Rhapsody,-- </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I have found that many people wait until they are older and have a lot more stress upon on them from family, friends, work, health, money etc before they start to drink as a means to numb the pain or thoughts they are having

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> hmmmmm.... I've not thought about this but I bet you are right. I believe my husband numbs the stress and his thoughts.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I wonder if there was someone in your husbands life that drank a lot to deal with their life issues?


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Well, his own father drank heavily for a few years, but when husband was about 12 years old, his father got a DUI-- lost his license for 3 months and learned a lesson. He only drank after that in moderation..... so you'd think husband would have learned the lesson of NOT drinking-- seems he only paid attention to the part of "ill-coping".

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
my father was an alcoholic for most of our child hood and while five out of six children do not drink - the youngest of us all took up drinking to try and solve his life issues when he turned 30 years old.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> so sorry you had to live with that. I find it amazing that only one out of all of you became alcoholic. There are seven in my family and three of my siblings are/were alcoholics...... and about yours being the youngest..... hmmmmmmm... my former T. had a theory-- he said that he has seen more "last" born(youngest) in his office than any other birth order-- he postulated that more last born have mental struggles than other birth order people. I don't know if it's true but it sure makes sense from where I'm coming from..... I'm last born, my husband is last born, and his father is also last born. I think last born can feel less in control, be abused by others(bigger siblings) more, and helplessly view as the family dysfunctions play out in too young of a mind to handle all that is going on.