here's the correspondence between my cousin and me, emails at least. and I don't delete emails so what I found is all that is there! and out of respect for privacy, I did redact certain info from the messages, but was noted in the [] parts.
please let me know if you spot something that I didn't. cuz like you guys said, I must be missing something as well... 
-> the best way to read these is from the bottom up, as in from earliest to most recent. (in hindsight I should have typed them the other way around - sorry)
HIM:
Sun 9/24/2017 12:41 AM
“”” Considering your father decided to ignore my request for help when my family ostracized me by not inviting me to the cabin; and since your mother didn't want me invited to the family get together, for reasons unknown to me; I won't be wishing them a happy anniversary. “””
then the rest of the email is what I posted online in my first/main post…
ME:
Friday, September 22, 2017 3:12 AM
I sent out the mass email to my relatives about the weekend…
___________________________________________________
-> that was it - no emails for over 2 months!!!
and I’m pretty certain there were no texts over that time frame as well
____________________________________________________
ME:
Tue 7/11/2017 4:27 AM
“”even so, in the end we are all human and all make mistakes””
HIM:
Sat 7/8/2017 12:17 AM
“”Hmmm. I must have done something to upset her. If only she could forgive me.. She's a Christian, right? “”
ME:
Saturday, July 8, 2017 12:14:44 AM
“”I just checked the address list on the email she sent out on Wednesday - sent to [I listed the names of two of her siblings and five of her nieces & nephews]. “”
HIM:
Sat 7/8/2017 12:12 AM
“”Your mother wouldn't have invited me?””
ME:
Saturday, July 8, 2017 12:09:01 AM
“”nope but thanks anyways. I got a little chewed out for sending out my [family name] Gathering email by my mom, but at least I included you - she did not! Sorry
take care and best wishes””
-> I did not read the article, but said I did just to end that part of the convo. I didn’t cuz A) I don’t do online self-diagnosing, B) I try not to read things that will mess with my mind, and C) I have a number of other reasons which I have never told anyone!!!
HIM:
Fri 7/7/2017 12:07 AM
“”I need to change topics. You and I have discussed aspects of the dysfunction in our family in the past. This article was extremely helpful for me. If it applies to your situation, I hope it will help set you on path for a healthy life. This is something I've been meaning to share with you for sometime.
[...]//childhoodtraumarecovery.com/2015/10/25/did-your-dysfunctional-family-make-you-the-identified-patient/ “”
ME:
Thursday, July 6, 2017 11:10:17 PM
“”Wow, what's going on? I hadn't heard anything, but then again, I'm not in the loop to begin with. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I just hope things are going well and also get better for you.
Take care and best wishes””
HIM:
Thu 7/6/2017 8:30 AM
“”I won't be able to come to the family get-together. I received my test results last week. My doctor wants me to start chemotherapy and radiation treatments asap to better my chances of survival.””
ME:
Thursday, July 6, 2017 1:11:19 AM
“”Well, three weeks ago she had surgery on her wrist/thumb. So she's a little 'one-handed' for the time being.
Will you be at the [family name] Gathering or are things still not-so-good with the family??
Take care and hope you're enjoy the heat! Out here today, we had a feels like temp of 101!! too hot for me �� “”
HIM:
Wed 7/5/2017 5:43 PM
“”Why isn't [my mom’s name] 'doing much typing'?””
ME:
Monday, July 3, 2017 5:22:58 PM
I sent out a mass email to relatives with info about the upcoming gathering and asking for a head-count. also mentioned that I was going to try to do this this year, since my mom wasn’t doing much typing lately.
____________________________________________________
-> my mom did send him the mass email inviting people to the [family name] Christmas, which was dated 11/30/2016. i have no idea if he replied back to her or not. he was also included in the mass email that my mom sent out about the [family name] gathering in early july, which was dated 06/24/2016. again, i have no idea if he replied back to her on that email or not. and he was included in the mass Christmas email that was dated 12/02/2015
____________________________________________________
ME:
12/22/2015 9:23AM
I sent him an email sharing a ‘family-related’ story about something between his dad and I. [this was done after a few texts had been received from him]
ME:
Tue 12/22/2015 8:56 AM
“”Emails are just fine, which allows you to write down things. You can even save an email as a draft, come back later and re-read it to see if that's what you really want to say and the wording you want to use. I am not a huge texter, but some I do. Either or is fine with me. (with long messages, emails might work better) I'm not 'glued' to my phone or my computer, so some times it may take a while to respond. But you can always text me saying you sent me an email, and that'll be a reminder for me to check it sooner rather than later.
'Snail mail' probably doesn't work the best, because of the wait time and things can always get lost. But like I said, you can always write things down and 'type' them up later (email or text) and send them when you're ready.
And like many people, I need time to think about things and process them. I like to have time to think about what I'm going to say.””
HIM:
Tue 12/22/2015 2:20 AM
“” What is best for you to communicate? I prefer writing( Real paper, stamps and all). It allows me time to think and clearly express my emoticons, rather than be controlled by them; something I ail from.””
-> last time I saw him would have been July 2015, I believe.