"I had to let go of the expectations of the life I thought I should live, what I believed, what I thought I should have achieved by now, how I thought I "should" behave in relationship with others."

Thank you for that, Shazerac. It can never be stated too much.

The sort of ruminating that haunts us can be so eroding at times. One does have to fight back with solid, defensive strategies and new ways of thinking about things. One at a time, if that is all we can summon.

Talking it out with someone can certainly help diminish its power. I hope there is a light on the horizon for you that way, East.

Journaling has helped me, when no one else was close.

And we are here, and we care.