Hey guys, I am very grateful for this community. Thank in advance for you help and support.

When I'm manic, I say and do things which embarrass me. After going through this several times, I've learned to be on guard. But now I'm just not myself anymore. I'm very hesitant to talk, especially to people who know I have bipolar. I have this thing about being the poster boy for the good little bipolar. I'm uber compliant and am well a very high percentage of the time. I find myself going back and apologizing for thinking I've done something wrong when nobody even noticed.

This has become a burden for me and a source of anxiety. It's verging on paranoia. Yeah, I don't want to be a motor mouth, but I'd like to be able to express myself more freely again. It's affecting my work. I'm afraid to assert myself. I'm afraid to post on this site. I delete half of what I write.

Advice and sharing is welcome!