I'm so sorry you're suffering. I'm a good listener, if you feel like talking about your experiences. There isn't anything you could say that would shock me.

I was anorexic for many years (it's like a living death). Then bulimic (not so deathly, but really awful to be in the grip of that compulsion. It got so I was scared to be alone, because I knew what I'd do to myself. And I would do it, over and over and over).

I saw some good therapists, but it didn't help for a long time. Their goal was to get me to gain weight, and there was no way I was going to let that happen.

Then I had a short course of inner child CBT.

It worked!

It was the simplest thing, nothing special and I didn't hold out any hopes (the first session, I was encouraged to 'draw my feelings' using nothing but coloured crayons. I thought... no... this woman's an idiot... I'm not going back).

Probably, different things 'click' for different people.

This worked for me.

My disordered behaviour carried on (I'm afraid I lied to the therapist, and told her I'd stopped) but something had started ticking over in my mind.

A vague idea... an unfamiliar sensation... a feeling that I might no longer be enjoying hurting myself (it's not 'enjoyment', but you know what I mean)... A feeling that I WAS that six year old girl the therapist had conjured into being... A feeling that I might see how sweet she was, and want to treat her in a tender way...

That's, let's see, eight years ago, nine? I had a few slip-backs at the beginning, but now I honestly will never, ever go back to that Hell.

I hope this helps a little. Have you been able to tell anyone about your problem yet?

If you don't feel like replying, that's fine, and I will carry on sending you love and wishing you the very best.