I’ve been in iop nearly a month and have been told by many I look and act better. I agree. However last night and today I wasn’t. I felt sad last night cause everyone at work has kids and are married or have a partner. I don’t have either. Then this morning I overslept and missed a work event, which I’m sure I am gonna get hell for and I also slept all day.

Awake now but feeling numb and crying. I am alone. I feel like a failure, f up, I feel I’m gonna be alone by New Years and I am going to be sure weak to resist an urge. My birthday (New Years day) is filled with so much loneliness and pain. I don’t want to be alone