It sounds like you had preverbal trauma too. I was just talking about this in Anastasia's thread. It's memories from the past of fragmentation because for an infant, it was life or death. It's a survival mechanism. If we didn't feel intense fear and pain and cry out, there would be little motivation by the mother to tend to us.

Therapy brought those intense feelings out in me, too. Incredibly painful stuff. I know what you mean by feeling depleted. Just as a small child would give up on crying out for help because no one ever came.