I sympathize with your problem of grieving for your mom. Mine died May 30 and I still have not been able to really grieve for her. I miss her terribly but it is all so complicated since she had schizophrenia from before I was born and was not diagnosed and medicated until I was 12 so my childhood was filled with fear and danger from her. My T went on vacation for two weeks and gave me the assignment to give myself persmission to let go of the control I am always under from myself and to grieve without feeling I am losing control. I have not yet figured out how to do that but I feel that I need to somehow come up with the answer for when he returns. Again, I am so sorry about you mom and the complicated process of grieving for her. My heart goes out to you.