Beth - your posting hit me right in the heart. We all need kindness - I am in the process of learning what I need in a friend or in any relationship and kindness and support and way up at the top of the list. There is no reason to be rude to anyone. I have always lived my life trying to be kind and helpful and felt like I kept getting slapped down by "friends" who did hold those qualities. Thank you for your post and for your courage to confront your needs. Good luck to you in your quest - I see a lost of myself in you.