About 5 years ago I went into a full blown manic state for 6 months. I left my family, partied a lot and had some very bad things happen to me. I turned into a totally different person and made some huge mistakes that I deeply regret. I have PTSD from those 6 months...flash backs ect. The only thing that helps is to keep reminding myself that It wasn't me doing those horrible things, It was the mania.