I suddenly learned a few weeks ago that T has cancer. It's apparently the most aggressive form of breast cancer and the hardest to treat, with an outcome that is not very good. I've tried to let it sink in and accept it somehow but not succeeding very well

She will be going through chemo for quite a long time, and that may affect our therapy (I go every week and she's not sure if she'll be up to it depending on her treatment, it's every other week for 8 weeks then every week for 8 weeks after that). She's going to try to work but that's a big question mark. It makes me very nervous and scared. I've seen her every week for years and I'm dealing with a lot of...trauma. That's my big diagnosis - PTSD, depression, anxiety.

I also can't shake this feeling that my problems are totally insignificant and stupid comparing what she's going through. My day to day struggles and dragging up things from years ago seems so trivial now?

Also, she's shared a lot. I suppose to get me prepared for what may or may not happen, but it's hard. Surgery to get chemo port put in, the fact she is getting her hair cut because it's all going to fall out, her first treatment left her tired, etc. and she had to go home and take a nap on the day I saw her, etc. It's hard to hear about and think about.

I'm afraid of losing her, if she can't work anymore- which could happen, or to cancer itself. I've totally lost focus on my own therapy and instead am all wrapped up in what T is going through.