I am not 100% well yet,but I have got over this last bout of physical and mental decline.
My fish oils and other vitamins came today and I took some and I admit the depression has lifted somewhat.I was able to go see a film and eat at the pub.There were a couple of bloke along the way that I fancy and wanted to make an effort with but I felt under the weather and unattractive ,they didn't seem bothered to make an effort.One of them we spoke and introduced ourselves to each other a while back.He said he's forgotten my name,asked what it was,shook my hand and said what his name was and left,exactly the same as last time.I thought to myself if he isn't interested enough to make more of an effort then I can't be bothered either.Also the fact I am dealing with chronic illness made me feel that no man would be interested in a woman that isn't physically fit so I ruled myself out of standing a chance with any man.So that is that!

I was a bit under the weather still physically,coughing,sweating and the usual incontinence issues.But able to cope a lot better with it all and my state of mind and outlook is more positive.Olanza_what,thank you for your support.I have decided every day I will do some sort of exercise for half an hour plus the physio exercises that I have been given for my posture.

I will be home all day tomorrow doing chores.Sunday I will try and get out again.
I mentally experienced some insecure territory these last few days,bad memories and security fears and worries about survival.I have to do all I can to get well and secure my future.I love that there are people on this forum that care and give support.Thanks you so muchxxx