I know we are unable to diagnose. But I have been experiencing some things perception-wise for a very long time. I'm wondering what it is. Here's my experiences (it's so strange, I don't tell anyone this): a LOT of it happens when I am alone. I am solitary a lot though. Ok. #1. I think I associate my kitchen at my parents house (still live there), with my insecurities. when I'm alone in there, I imagine (not on purpose) people who have made me insecure in the past, watching me! Its been happening since my early adolescence. I will be preparing my food, or unloading the dishwasher, and I know nobody is there obviously. But Its just this thought of certain people throughout my life, who have made me feel powerless. Some, I don't even personally know. And it feels the focus is on me. And it's very uncomfortable. It got worse though, since a trauma I experienced last year.

#2. I feel very self conscious while walking in my neighborhood alone. It's a good neighborhood. But when a car goes by, I feel like the person inside is staring at me. It's a very uncomfortable experience. I tell myself they might not be. It doesn't help. It's exhausting and I pretty much give up trying to argue with myself while it's happening.

#3. I daydream. But it's not positive stuff. It's like, embarrassing stuff happening to me, it sucks.

#4. I feel weird lately, about certain music. Like it just weirds me out. Like it embarrasses me. Certain sounds and rhythms. I love music though.

What is going on with me? Am I highly sensitive and socially anxious? Is it just extreme self consciousness? Or is it something else? Is this in the realm of schizophrenia? Psychosis? I don't even know. I know I should bring it up to my practitioners.

Thanks for listening. Any supportive input would be helpful. Thanks.