That feel when people tell you that you don't have Autism because you're so high functioning social wise. I mean, to an extent. Let me explain. I have multiple conditions such as Complex PTSD, ADHD, Anxiety, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, OCD, and more (Can't list all of my disorders, too much to remember and don't want to get into it all.)
People think I'm not Autistic, even the Autistics!
Sure, my ADHD makes my thinking and speech jump around.
Sure, my Schizotypal Personality Disorder makes me more prone to Pseudoscience, but I have repetitive speech and thinking at times, I don't think it's my OCD, my OCD is usually counting, checking, cleaning, etc.
In my 22 years of age, I have been rejecting my Autism diagnosis, until now.
I still reject it somewhat, but not as badly as before. I have obsessions that are good and bad. Almost every person I meet I talk about these obsessions to them at least once.
I'm not independent, I still live with my parents, don't have a job or drive, etc. I think that might be my PTSD though, because it gave me bad memory, afraid to move on with my life, my ADHD gives me attention issues but I KNOW my PTSD gave me bad memory because ever since I got traumatized it just got worse.
But I'm going off in a tangent, my point is every time I state I have a diagnosis of Autism, people don't believe me.
And when I say that, I don't mean they think "You don't have an diagnosis, you're lying!"
I don't mean it like that, I mean, "Ok, so you have a diagnosis of Autism, but you're so good with communication and socializing though!"
These people are mostly online. It is easier to socialize on a computer than in real life. They don't get that. They don't get that I think before I type (well, sometimes I do ahaha.)
They don't get that on my YouTube I EDIT my videos so all the stuttering or me trying to say a sentence only to trip over my words, they don't hear that, because I edit it out!
Even one Autistic person once said to me "You are NOT Autistic!"
So I don't know who to believe, these people who don't even know me, or the doctors.
Keep in mind I have had bad doctors almost all my life and misdiagnoses, even one doctor thought most if not ALL of my mental issues was from Autism which Autism is my less affecting disorder that's if I EVEN HAVE IT!
I don't know what to think anymore, no matter how much you people tell me "You're not Autistic", it won't get the diagnosis on the computer changed.
I have sensory issues, I used to lack eye contact as a kid.
Before I got traumatized I was able to memorize things like Star Wars lines.
I had issues "getting" people but got better with understanding people and sarcasm and satire, I sometimes still have issues with sarcasm but not all that much.
I have issues spelling and reading, I have to use spell check and even text to speech, it's that bad.
I consider myself "High functioning" social wise, but not independently. No real life friends, no girlfriend, no job, I'm on disability though so.
Thanks for making me confused internet.
Please let me know if you think I got mislabeled.
Take care.