I used to sort of feel this way. Because I didn't get my needs met as a child I would go to extremes to get them met as an adult and it got me in a lot of trouble. Over time I've realized that having someone care for me only out of pity or because I need it isn't fulfilling at all.

When you aim to contribute to someone else's happiness and well being, they are MUCH more likely to be that person in your life who nurtures and supports you. Then all of a sudden,in your mind, your needs no longer become the focal point or reason for communication which was a huge weight off my shoulders. You know that you are valued because of what you gave , not what you got. Any feelings of abandonment also start to dissolve because that person no longer feels completely drained by your behavior when both parties are benefiting.

I was EXTREMELY reluctant to make the choice to change, but once I did, things got a lot easier.