View Single Post
 
Old Sep 30, 2017, 09:18 AM
Anonymous58343
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by SapphireRed View Post
I don't often remember dreams in such clarity. It did hang in my mind yesterday till I wrote about it. It is not a typical one to find meaning in but I think it is related to the fact that these people were nasty to me and I never resolved those angry conflicted feelings so my brain was saying I have to blow them out my head and thoughts not literally but metaphorically, take revenge and forgive and forget them.
I also dreamt at 18 that she raped me, and also her pal big bird did.
I am getting ground down with these vivid nightmares, that are happening because my AP has been cut. I cannot go back to who I used to be, so I will just have to soldier on.
When I was training in my sport in my way to being a professional athlete, I remember it was the three of us at the university. This always spells trouble.
So my male and female team mate got a bit close so I was left as goose berry. They then did that typical playground game when they feel someone is cramping their style and they told me to go away and leave them alone .I wasn't sure if it's because I was deep down just a loser because I listened to my rock tunes and that was not cool at my school.
I wanted to play drums, but somehow I ended up a kickboxer. I was a geek, how did this happen.
I am still confused as to why my fiance s ,friend said I was looking for a sugar daddy. I was intelligent and sporty- the world should have been my oyster.
My team mates grabbed my phone on the train, when I wasn't looking and I had texted a friend saying they were doing my head in. We started training in the mornings but I was a night owl and hated it immensely.
By now I was spreading myself too thin. I have was studying to keep my brain sharp, working more or less full time at a supermarket, trying to maintain social life so my sport fell by the wayside, but I knew it was time to call it quits and I would go no further. Maybe I believe in divine intervention
Hugs from:
Shazerac