Danialla, I have some answers for you about asking "why?" of God. I hope this isn't too off topic.

When my mom lay dying from a series of strokes, I asked WHY?? The grandmother had also died the same way but she only lasted three weeks. My mom lasted three months. The grandmother was an evil woman and if you look at it from the perspective of "deserving", she deserved to suffer! Maybe she did because she died screaming. She died alone.

As I watched my mom make her exit out of this world, it became increasingly difficult for me to watch or to stay in the room with her. At this point, I called on my pastor and asked him to come pray with us; a friend of mine, my husband, and me.

When he got to the hospital, my pastor only wanted to talk with me before he prayed. One of the questions he asked me was "Are you ready to accept God's answer, no matter what it is? He may say "Okay" and take your mom immediately or He may say "I'm not done with her yet. You'll have to wait."

As I thought about this, I remembered that this pastor's wife had recently passed and she suffered with seizures terribly. She died of brain cancer. It had spread throughout her body so her pain was intense. My pastor had spent weeks, literally, asking God to please release her from her pain and "take her home." In this instance, God said "Wait."

In just a few seconds, I had to acknowledge that God had the final word as to when my mother would stop her suffering. She was having a terrible time breathing and I could never find the words to tell the nurses to stop trying to help her.

It was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but in just a few seconds I was able to tell my pastor I understood his question and that no matter how God answered, I'd be okay with it.

My pastor prayed for me, my family and finally prayed that God be merciful to my mom and release her from her suffering. Within 45 minutes, my mom was at peace. Thank God, He agreed with us that it was time!! The first words out of my mouth as she stopped struggling were "How great Thou art!" Yet, I had a "nervous breakdown" a couple of weeks after I buried my mom. I've spent the last 23 yrs praying that I can overcome the issues with my mom that I found impossible to deal with shortly after her death.

In my experience, I believe that accepting God's will, no matter what we pray for, it's paramount.

Another, much shorter, personal story. About 10 yrs ago, I found myself almost homeless. Thank God for my best friend. She took me in when no one else would have me, rent free. She told me it was only temporary and although I was making some money at the time, it wasn't enough to find a place to rent.

She made it "uncomfortable" for me in some strange ways, just to keep me from laying back in my laurels. One of her best tricks was to watch TV shows that had vampires and witches. I abhor that kind of show and refused to stay in the house while they were on.

As I walked around outside, I was wondering how on earth I'd ever find a place of my own. I knew I wasn't completely welcome where I was and of my own accord, I would have lived out of my car before I'd live with any of my kids. It was quickly coming to living out of my car. I was at the end of my rope with anxiety, fear and the feeling of unacceptance.

All I could think of to say was "OH, GOD!!!!!" It came from the depths of my being. A couple of days later, my oldest son called me and asked me if the name of some street sounded familiar. I said it did, but little did I know. He told me that he and his wife had been checking out some mobile homes and there was one they wanted me to see.

We met at the mobile home, I looked at what I later named "My Tin Can," I said I'd take it and he layed out to money on the spot. It cost him all of $5,000 and that was too much. At that time, I would have taken ANYTHING as long as it was my own and not my car on some scary street. It was truly a "tin can." LOL But it was MINE!

You can't ever convince me that it wasn't an aswer to the prayer I hadn't been able to utter as I walked around my friend's place.

I do ask "why" when I see little kids suffering, when I hear of the hunger they and their parents' suffer, WHY are innocent babies carried throughout gestation but die at birth leaving their parents heartbroken. Only thing I can say is "it's God's will." I don't know the mind of God but I do know that He knows best. I've heard people say that have lost babies at a very young age that although their time wasn't long, they learned something from that short stay. Whether they know it or not, they've accepted God's will in their lives. If you can do that, then you don't ask "WHY?" nearly as often. It's God's plan, or God's will.