tks ZH. I recognized you, of course!

I feel badly because now she will probably be worried about me. What a crummy thing for her to be faced with for Christmas I have a major issue with feeling TERRIBLE about people worrying about me. She already knew I had a problem with it "in the past," but she wasn't aware it was currently happening. Also, she has cut herself once before and now I always worry that she will model herself after my behavior in this instance. She likes to copy the things I like and do. She looks up to me. That makes me sad.

T asked if I was trying to pretend I was "perfect". That's not it at all. I just don't want anyone to feel badly or waste their time worrying about me. I know it's HELL (pardon my french) worrying about someone you love, and I don't want to do that to my family and friends.

No, I did NOT plan it. It was DEFINITELY not on purpose.

Yes, I did talk with her and I assured her that I didn't have them there because I was planning anything. They were actually in my purse because I put them there to give to T, but chickened out. NOT because I was going to use them. And I told her that. I hope it helped.

I still feel bad. Wish she didn't have to deal with this crap.