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Shazerac · Sep 30, 2017, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueJeans00

I really don't know what's going on with my partner and I need some advice
About 2 weeks ago I found out my partner was cheating or betrayed me whatever you want to call it.
I found out by looking at his phone history on google and.he was on a sex chat website taking naked photos of himself and also was looking at porn.
I thought to myself who have I been with for the last 8 years.
We are still together but I don't trust him. He has been reading this book called " No Mr Nice Guy" that my therapist recommend him to read. I constantly check his phone to see if he has done it again, I really don't like living anxiously and worrying that he will do it again.
Its chaotic inside of me.

My point is he started to open up to me and told me this
I don't know what to make out of it. Its a bit concerning because Im thinking am I with a person who could develop to a sex offender?
He told me when he was 15,16 that he would masterbate in the backyard and also climbed over the fence to neighbours and did it there too. They went on to say at age of 20,22 they went in a bush and masterbated while seeing people going for a bush walk. They masterbated out on the deck too, they said it stopped when they meet me.
But still Im a bit concerned.
I don't know what to make out of this.

In my opinion you kind of need to take it from here. What he did when he was a teenager may have been over the top, but I don't think he qualifies as a sex offender.

What's important is what's going on now. Have you been having some uncomfortable feelings or suspicions that led to you to check his phone?

Some people view sexual behavior online as cheating others don't. I'm not going to get into that debate.

That book No More Mister Nice Guy is about getting your needs met. Maybe he's exploring.

However you have every right to consider this and whether or not YOU are OK with it. Yes he has a right to get his needs met, but not necessarily in a relationship with someone who does feels internet sexual behavior is cheating.

You 2 need to have a serious talk and establish guidelines going forward. If you're not ok with the online sex stuff, make that clear. If he thinks that he needs or has a right to do that anyway. Then you both have a decision to make about whether or not your relationship is still viable.